The EX files

Adapted from google images 

Often in our life we encounter the people that we hope we would never have to deal with again, but, we have to in order for us to get some sort of closure. When one is single we go through loads of heartbreaks and often we question ourselves when that certain ex enters our life again.

Now we are all human, we’re going to wonder if we can ever have the same moments we had with them but sadly we can’t. There’s a reason why we end up letting go of that person we care most about but the hard part of this, is that we want them to comfort us, tell us the right things when no one else is listening.  How do we deal with this?  The hardest part of getting closure is admitting that things between you and him are over. 

When an old fling or ex-boyfriend comes back into your life I like to think of this a test. A test to see if you have been telling yourself, you are really over this person just for the sake of pleasing your friends but you know that deep down you’re afraid that they are going to judge you if you’re not over him yet or a test for you to see how you will be able to handle them coming back into your life.

It’s never easy for one to let go of that person, and often when one is single a sense of vulnerability comes along with this and it is so easy for you to fall back into a place where your falling for the same moves he used on you the first time you liked him. After a while you find yourself back where you started at the place where you start to realise why you ended things. The point of realisation comes when you find yourself wishing for the things that made you like him and in this moment you wish you could save and hit repeat whenever things got bad but realisations kicks in when we realise it can never be like. Sometimes exes come back to remind us of what not to do the next time we fall but one should also take note that we should remember the good times and not let the bad times cloud our future.

L.O.V.E

S

The Rebound

Adapted from Google images

Breakups, hook-ups or even that person that you wished you could be with but couldn't because of some old excuse that was probably made up or even written in a hand guide. Untimely all these things can end up hurting a person and leaves a person feeling alone and empty inside. Often people say things like “I’m fine” or “I’m so over it” but in actually fact they are too afraid to realise or admit to themselves that it is really over. Without even knowing it or acknowledging this, people often find themselves rebounding, but, is this really healthy.

This can be seen from two perspectives; the first is that of course this is not healthy. The reason for this is that for some odd reason you could be reminded of some of the characteristics from your ex that is portrayed in Mr Rebound and this could make you miss the person you should have been with but couldn't be with. One finds themselves asking questions like why couldn't or didn't it work out, which is very unhealthy. The other perspective is that your Mr Rebound could change from this to Mr Right, by just giving him a chance. However sometimes we are so caught up with old feelings that we cannot see this.

Rebounds can be a messy issue to deal with, yet everyone goes through it whether we like it or not. The point here is that we crave for that attention and when rebounding we don't even consider the next person feelings. I remember when I went out on a date a few months back and it wasn't what I was expecting. All I kept thinking was that it didn't feel right and this was not the person I wanted to be with, it sounds harsh but it was true. Most single people rebound to hide their pain, fear and all the other emotions that come with this. By thinking that one can replace the old hurt with something new isn't always the simplest solution. One should allow oneself to heal over time and then explore their options when they want to get back on that journey of finding Mr Right.

Being single is all about exploring ones options and this can be a blessing because in order to find your Mr Right you sometimes have to deal with all these Mr Wrongs and this is okay. Like whom you want to like because ultimately only you can make choices that affect you.

L.O.V.E

S  

Comfort Music

Adaption from Google images

Everyone has those moments when you feel like just curling up in bed, eating ice-cream and putting on a song or even a movie that helps you forget about the miserable mood that you’re in.  It happens to everyone and sometimes it’s okay because we have to allow ourselves to deal with that.  Comfort music as a like to call it is the best solution; some songs know just how to hit the right spot for the moments that we find ourselves angry, sad or even happy.

There are some days where I’m in such a happy mood that I put on music and dance my feet off and in that moment one is able to forget everything they are going through. However being single can sometimes make many people go through days where they wonder why they are still single and there comes a point where you just want to breakdown and you have no idea how to deal with it. Well instead of turning to that comfort food which most people do, I suggest putting on music.

I recently discovered that country music is the most soothing music to listen to when dealing with that crush that never worked out or even that fling that you were hoping it would work but didn't. Music helps you get through the tough times in your life, it allows you to make a connection with the lyrics that sometimes deal with exactly what you’re going through. Most musicians’ these days write songs that are personal and that everyone can relate to. 

Take Taylor swift, Hunter Hayes or even Demi Lovato these are some of the singers that write with meaning. Never the less music is there to comfort the pain and anger but also there to create a feeling of joy Music gives us hope for whatever the future might hold, so I end of with one of my favourite quotes in a song. 

“Live while we're young”-one direction

L.O.V.E

S! 

First Impressions

Adapted from Google

 They say that “beauty is in the eye of the beholder”, which in mere fact is true. It could be said that in that moment when two people’s eyes meet, the beholder has established an impression upon the other. First impressions create a connection between two people, these days it takes at least 3 seconds for an impression to be established in which the beholder has initially created an opinion about that person. Whether it is based on the hair colour of the person, their smile or even their eyes all these visual attributes determine whether one has shown interest in a person or merely just walked past without any consideration of wanting to get to know that person. Every person generally has certain characteristics they want in their partner however these first impressions can either be positive or negative. One of the disadvantages of being single is misjudging a person when making that first impression.

I met a guy during the week and my first impression was that I generally thought this guy was cute, so I turned to a friend of mine and said wow that guy is attractive. She had suggested that we go talk to him. When we had walked up to him the first impression I had thought  was that he seemed to be pleasant however to my surprise he had given off the impression that he wasn't as polite as I thought in fact he seemed to be the complete opposite. The point made here is that because I had created an expectation about him, I had assumed that he was a nice guy and we probably both had created first impression about each other. Whether we like it or not everyone has expectation when it comes to a person, it’s called being human. The single life can be tricky but it allows us to know what we want instead of just settling for any person that enters our life. Whether it is 3 or 5 seconds one is allowed to make numerous connections whether it is right or even wrong. That is the beauty about being SINGLE….so next time you look in the mirror and ask yourself why am I single, just think you’re free to make as many first impression as you like.  

L.O.V.E

S